Well it is absolutely no shock that I'm trying to lose weight. It isn't easy, ever. I've done this before quite a lot and always seem to go back to the same comfortable weight after a week.
This time is different. Why?
A) I am focusing on HEALTH. Not just skinny.
B) I am not just surviving off Fibre One bars and rapini.
C) Exercise is a HUGE part of this journey. I just want to be strong and fit.
What am I doing?
Weight Watchers!...cue Jennifer Hudson/Jenny McCarthy... AND exercise.
Why does this work for me?
It is mathematical. You must eat a certain amount of fruits and vegetables in a day, and all the other stuff has points associated with it.
It is NOT easy, but very accomodating. If I want a glass of wine, I'll have it. Can you believe I've lost 11 lbs by eating cheese and Turtles?... All in moderation is acceptable. I certainly don't feel deprived. I feel empowered. Once I'm done my points for the day...I stop eating.
Wait a minute...haven't you done this before?
YES! I've done Weight Watchers about 6 or 7 times now...
What went wrong, why didn't you finish?
Its true, I've never let myself reach my goal. I've set myself up to fail many times. I never really pushed myself, I just sort of lost the weight and then STOPPED thinking about it. But weight loss isn't just a do it and forget it kind of thing... it is a life long challenge.
It really isn't a failure as I've always maintained around the same 5 lbs for about 5 years now.
I was 183 lbs when I was 18 years old.
I was an atrocious weight when I was 13 years old. I was an obese child.
It absolutely fucking kills me to say it. There are many things I do NOT look back on with happiness.
Sure, I can laugh about it now. I went to fat camp, I used to eat cake behind the curtains. But really...for a child to do that is pretty messed up.
I CRINGE when I think of it.
Why is it so important to be healthy for me?
I want to break the cycle. I want to lead and live a healthy life. I want to get married and raise children and I don't want them to EVER have to worry about words like "diabetes" or "obese".
I stood on the scale this morning and it read 150.9lbs. I smiled the biggest smile.
The sad girl that I used to be is now a happy, active and vivacious woman.
25, you're going to be the best year yet.