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Sunday, February 24, 2013

Right Back to The Start

I think about the last year and a half and am proud of what I have done. I loved living in Korea. It was incredibly hard to leave, but I had things to do. I had life goals I needed to accomplish.

Now February 24th, 3 months away from finishing up my schooling, I'm living in Scotland thinking about my next step. Home.

Since 2008, I had planned this big move to Scotland. I thought when I was 18 that I would want to live here forever. I thought I would want to get married and have kids here. I thought maybe I would find my Jamie Fraser here (SEE Diana Gabaldon...) but it hasn't turned out the way I planned. It never does.

This year has been one of the hardest in a long while. The end of a time for an important relationship in my life, leaving a home and job I had created, realizing how much I want to plant down roots and being homesick for the first time since I was 12. After almost five years of moving around, meeting new people, and running away/around/towards things, I'm ready to come back to Canada.

It freaks me out to think that I'm moving to a place where there are so many others like me, with the same qualification striving to get a job, get on the supply list, get their foot in the door. I am fully aware that it won't be easy, I am going to have to go live back with my parents, which will be lovely as I miss them, but I also miss having my own apartment. It is only temporary, but I'm not setting a time frame, because the more I plan, the more things change.

This year has also taught me many things. I am supposed to be a teacher. Even when things get really shitty, and I'm at my lowest point, I am still the happiest when I am in the classroom. All the bad goes away, and working with those students, it is no longer about me, its about them and what I can do to help them succeed.

During Christmas break I was at home, not wanting to come back (which I know, I know - WAHHH boo to the life of the privileged...). I told myself to get over it and man up. When I got back here, I joined a military style fitness class and haven't looked back. I am so excited to attend. SOS fitness has been a major player in helping me to get over my blues and start focusing back on something I used to enjoy. The classes are challenging, but everyone is stuck in, and works together as a team to get through the circuit. No one gets left behind, and you can go at your own pace if it suits you.

Today I weigh 154 lbs and I'm looking forward to getting back to 145 lbs where I was October 2011. It is not far off and I know it is an attainable goal. Dad and I are doing it together from so far away.

I'm looking forward to posting more, sharing more photos and keeping my family and friends up to date with my last three months in Scotland!


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